Monday, June 2, 2014
Here is the second part of my Vlog on Sex Safety!
4th video can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB1-dGl4z80
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Sunday, February 16, 2014
- It was Sunday, February 16, 2014. It's my mother's birthday, but the plan to go out to eat was cancelled and I and my boo decided to enjoy this beautiful day with a lovely walk. We just got through a week of part two of the infamous "Snowpocalypse" in Atlanta and the weather shot up to the mid 60s this day.
- I suggest that we go for a walk by the Chattahoochee river because I was tired of going to Stone Mountain and we wanted to save gas and not drive 45 minutes to another potential mountain. Of course we get to site for our walk and at the beginning of our trail there is a pile of shit right there. Of course off to the side there is a set up for people to be reminded to clean up after their dog, but low and behold here is shit right in the beginning of the path.
- As we continued to walk, there were several more piles of shit. By now I was ready to turn around and go back to the car before I vomit. Of course vomiting near the trail was out of the question because there was probably more shit just laying indiscriminately on the ground.
- I swear that people who have dogs and don't clean up after them are the nastiest mother fuckers on the face of this planet. No one wants to see dog shit anywhere, let alone step on it or be at risk of stepping in it because a pedestrian failed to watch where they were going.
- But, oh, what the world would be like if we were free from random shit piles in the middle of trails, in fields, sidewalks, parks, etc. How wonderful would our communities be when I can go to the fuckin park and sit in front of a tree without worrying about who and what peed of crapped there. Unfortunately, the reality is that shit happens and in this case it was left in the middle of a trail.
- Now, I know you did not come here to read about shit (which is proof of how bad shit is). This is supposed to be a sex blog. February is supposed to be Black History Month and this is 2 days after Valentine's Day. Where are the blogs on positions? Where are the blogs on Black love? Where are the blogs on some type of freak nasty topic? No one wants to deal with shit.
- Right. No one wants to deal with shit. But you want to have lots of sex.
- Now, let me backtrack to Valentine's Day. It was a Friday. In light of "Snowpocalypse 2" in Atlanta, I had an empty book at work and had the day off. "Awesome!" I thought. "I can spend the day with my boo."
- I didn't think we'd argue.
- I don't remember what we argued about, but we were pissed with each other.
- But I do remember watching Youtube after he left for a while to cool off and handle business. I came across this video by a guy named Mooji. Mooji is a Jamaican-born guru that apparently is world renowned, but I never heard of him. I was drawn to the title: "Trusting the Universe." I watched it. He captured me when he mentioned that the sun still shines even on "poo."
- My heart dropped. It dropped because I thought about all the nasty mother fuckers who will not clean up after their pet and leave their shit for someone to accidentally step in. I mean, they don't even have the decency to dig a frickin hole first #bastards.
- But I thought about what he said. The sun shines on shit just like it rains on the just and unjust.
- Many of us have met someone that we had a mutual attraction with, had sex, and they turned out to be a piece of shit. Some of them resulted in pregnancies. Some of them resulted in sexually transmitted infections. Some of them resulted in marriages. Either way, shit showed up somehow just like all the piles of shit I saw on the trail.
- No one wants to deal with shit let alone your shit. We won't clean it up though. There's no one to clean it up most of the time depending on where you're at. If it was private property it may be a different story. But public property doesn't promise that shit will get cleaned. (Ponder that for a moment.)
- Why do we want pleasure without dealing with the shit that comes with it? I ask this because everyone is going to deal with some type of shit. Hell, me and my dude argued on Valentine's Day- but we made up for it that evening when we went out and closing the weekend with a walk (minus the shit we avoided stepping in). Why do we judge shit? Shit has a purpose.
- Let's take figurative shit for a moment. My figurative shit involves the fact that I hate washing the dishes with a passion. He also hates it, but he hates a full sink. Apparently I hate it more because I will not do it if I don't feel like it. By the time I think to do them, he has already ran the dishwasher three times that week. But now he's frustrated because he feels like he's putting up with my shit. Is it worth arguing? Am I shit for not washing the dishes? Is there a solution to this?
- There ended up being a solution. We buy paper plates now. Between my schedule and his, washing dishes is for the birds and we are always tired. Buying paper plates eliminates that shit. We did our part to pick up shit in our relationships and throw it away. It stinks, its nasty, and I want to vomit thinking about it. But its gone.
- Now, there is shit that is not going anywhere in our relationship. What do we do? Like Mooji said, the sun still shines on it too. You can ignore it.You can dig a hole and cover it up. You can even allow it to fertilize the ground if it's bullshit. Its about what you are going to allow shit to do in your relationship.
- There is a lot of shit I give and a lot that he gives. That's in every relationship. But you have to learn how to turn that shit into fertilizer or at least bury or flush it. However, harping on the shit that's there does nothing because even after you leave, the shit is still there- just like when we left the trail. What can you do?
- What does this have to do with sex? It has nothing to do with the fetishes people partake in (gross). Everything that feels good has shit to go along with it. Are you ready? Many of you want a committed relationship, but are you willing to take the shit that comes with having a relationship with the person you choose to take shit from? Even a one night stand can potentially be shit. What if the person is trash? What if there aren't any condoms? What if <fill in the blank>?
- Everyone on Valentines' Day that was single was talking the most shit about shit they would and wouldn't put up with in relationships. What would you put up with? Because end of the day, inevitably shit happens. And to add insult to injury, even shit can still get sunshine. There's no need to judge a person's shit. Just judge the shit you're willing to deal with and deal with cleaning up your own shit- or just flush.
- I have begrudgingly made peace with the fact that shit happens- in relationships and public parks, in marriages and sidewalks, in commitment and in hiking trails, in the bedroom and inconvenience. It will be found in the most inconvenient places at the most inconvenient times. Its a struggle, but the truth of the matter is that shit is part of life. Without shit, we'd all be constipated. A constipated person in a relationship is a person that is now full of shit and that's worse than shit itself.
- If your partner is not beating the shit out of you, treating you bad or disrespectfully and you both really want to be together, take heed to this article. If you decide to be a casual person and just date, keep baggies near (condoms) and stay clean. If you are still living with shit that you got, just remember that when left in the sun and dirt, it will only fertilize and bring something new. Because no matter what you may think of shit, when it fertilizes, new life is always coming from it. Judge shit accordingly people. Shit isn't that bad.
- Side note: Take your dog anywhere, but don't send it to a park or school grounds to shit where children have to play or do physical education and outdoor activities! That's nasty! But see how that applies metaphorically. If you have kids, keep your's and their shit away from the kids space.
- You can watch the video I referenced on Mooji here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUFettS36TY
Monday, January 6, 2014
- Overall, I am a sexologist. I just happen to also be a massage therapist that will be attending a clinical sexology training in a few months followed by sex coaching training. My insecurity overtakes me sometimes because in the massage community sex is not only taboo, it is forbidden. Of course it’s forbidden especially with the endless proposals of happy endings and seduction from a client laying naked on the table- or a massage therapist. I have had medical professionals remind me that massage therapy is not a medical necessity when it comes to treating disease and dysfunction while I reflect on my trainings where I learned how to heal everything from scoliosis to infertility.
- Of course, after years of medical training and education, their only resolution for scoliosis is placing metal bars in your back to hold you up straight and for infertility inject you with hormones and artificially inseminated eggs like you’re cattle ready to be slaughtered. Yet, I have learned in recent years that castor oil dissolves cysts and unblock tubes while aromatherapy stimulates the system to heal itself, but I am not qualified to give medical advice because I didn’t go into debt with $250,000 to learn basically how to not use critical thinking but protocol.
- But I digress. What gets to me as I am completing my undergraduate education in psychology what to do next. Honestly, I am thinking of ways of being wise even though being wise is not necessarily smart. Sometimes being wise is being scared or avoid the idea of expanding my full potential. I say this because I have been shopping around for methods of enhancing my practice. I believe sexuality should be approached with mind and body techniques. It has been proven that sexual dysfunction is psychological even though there are physical symptoms. A man could have erectile dysfunction because he is suffering from manic depression which altered his eating habits that leads him to be diabetic. A woman may never have an orgasm because she suffered years of abuse and the stress also lead her to have high blood pressure.
- Right now, I am a licensed massage therapist and my training in massage school and continuing education involved learning and understanding how to treat the whole person. I can assess a person through the pain they are communicating to me about, but sometimes massage alone will not help them. Or can it? I have on countless occasions worked on stiff necks on people who didn’t take their intake form seriously and share with me that they had hypothyroidism and cysts. So when I work on them they wonder how I know that they have it. Easy- palpation and asking questions. But their doctor says it’s no big deal even though they come to see me weekly or biweekly for their stiff neck. Since they are not “dying” let alone dead their issue is no big deal while they continue to have sleepless nights with stiff necks.
- The more severe issues have been involving reproductive health considering that this is my area of expertise. I have had mean jokingly tell me how they have the feeling, but <quote> “the equipment just isn’t working right” <end quote>. <Sigh>. I know what they are implying but I approach them in a professional manner because I already know what’s going on without them telling me. Through the massage and palpating their abdomen, adrenals and kidneys, I know they are have bladder issues due to an enlarged prostate. As I palpate their adhesions through their abdomen I politely ask them “what’s going on here? This doesn’t feel right. Are you having bladder or prostate issues?”
- Anyway, back to what I wanted to talk about. I was looking into Chiropractic programs, Acupuncture, Acupressure, Naturopathic Medicine, and Osteopathic Medicine, Allopathic medicine, marriage and family therapy, clinical psychology and so many more programs only for me to realize a few things. First, no matter what kind of medicine I get into, I am going to be in school and training forever for shit that I already know. On top of thought, because I already know alternative methods, it will be hard for me to not impose those techniques even during my residencies because most medical methods have proven to be unhealthy and even fatal. Second- even if I become a psychotherapist and specialize in sex therapy, it seems that most of my clientele, if I want to be able to pay my bills, will be marriage and couple counseling. That’s cool, but what about the people who suffer from dysfunction in silence and they trust no one else. I could combine bodywork with sex therapy, but then there is this taboo of touching your clients that have sex addiction. What if there is a physical reason for the addiction like their hormone levels are way too high?
- Third- There are so many people that I am going to have to refer anyway no matter what I choose. If I become a medical doctor I may have to refer a patient to a psychologist for therapy and vice versa. Fourth- if I choose any of the above specialties, mainly psychology or medicine, and I recommend of apply my current and effective training that may cause politics to arise because people don’t agree with it- not because it’s not effect but it just doesn’t look right. So what do I do?
- I’ve decided to continue to educate myself and stick to what I know. Medicine is failing us and most people are seeking alternative methods of treatment. I’ve also decided to create my own brand and hire myself. Maybe I will go to medical school or become a psychotherapist- who knows? However, I know what I have done to help people in the area I’m in now. I am a realist, but I am also simple. Castor Oil works better than surgery. Diet works better than drugs. A healthy liver will afford you a healthy sex life. I didn’t have to go to medical school to learn that- just my anatomy and physiology textbook. I may actually go and get a second degree in biology just to learn about nature and how the body works because that is where my fascination lies mainly for application to heal.
- I have a passion to heal in the area of sexual health. That includes, but not limited to HIV/AIDS education & prevention, fertility, women’s health, men’s health, teen’s sexual and mental development, and everything in between. I enjoy educating clients and people about what they can do to spice up their sex life in a holistic manner. The era of just teaching about sex toys, pills, and positions are over. People are tired of losing their health, their loved ones to death, and losing their minds on the medical treatments they receive and the absence of knowledge and education from experts. Many people want to learn more than just the fact that eating pineapple will alter the taste of a man’s semen- by now everyone knows that.
- For 2014, I am stepping up and stepping out. With a new practice opening up this month (January), workshops, and a naughty surprise later this year, at this point it is time to be what I am qualified to do. We need reform in sex education for teens and adults. We need reform in sexual health. We need reform in sexuality as a whole. Never mind my future credentials, I’m Kitty Pride Beeotch! (I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist). This year Kitty Pride the Sexologist and Lekeisha the Practitioner becomes one. Stay tuned for greatness.
- In the meantime, since you have reached the end of this blog and read everything in its totality I have an offer for you. Post your comments at the end of this post. Then email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know what you think about everything I said here by Friday, January 17, 2014 and I will give you a 15% discount off your bodywork and massage services. To view my services just visit www.healingplexus.info and take a look at what I have to offer. You must book at least a 60 minute session with me by Friday, January 31, 2014 to receive the discount. Sorry, but this cannot be combined with any other offers.
- I’m LeKeisha “Kitty Pride” Jones, LMT- blogger, body worker, and sexology & sexual health enthusiast and I approve this messageJ.