Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Sex: The Ability to Make A Difference


  • I didn't know what I was going to write about this time. For the last few months I've been posting academic papers because it was just appropriate for this blog. This month I feel a need to share a very rewarding and interesting experience that I have had in this area.

  • I just completed Fertility Massage training over this past weekend before I wrote this with Claire Marie Miller- a veteran in the massage therapy industry and the creator of this modality. I had an awesome time and learned so much. it was a prayer answered because I have been wanting to find a way to combine my massage therapy craft to help people with sexual healing.

  • Over the weekend, after trial and error, have my own release, and practicing on my guy, I realized something about sex that is often not talked about. Sex is not just about getting pregnant. It's not just about having an orgasm (or busting a nut for those who use this lingo). Its not about just pleasure alone. Its definitely nothing shameful or embarrassing.

  • For the first time, I felt like a WOMAN. Not that I didn't know or feel it before, but I can feel my woman-ness as nature intended- whole and satisfied. I felt it from within- not just through my vagina and not through intercourse. I felt it through the real me, the invisible me that is hidden like a pearl in a clam. I felt myself open up like a lotus flower in the Nile River among muddy waters. Even while with my boo, I saw him in a different light- he really truly is my warrior king. And I felt all this before we made love.

  • You can only imagine what sex was like after my first session and after my guy's first session when I practiced in him. It was beyond any love song created. The only thing that seemed to feel right was to make a baby. We used condoms, though. It's just not time yet. :)

  • I felt pleasure and pain become one. Yin and Yang. Sun and Moon. Light and Dark. I felt it all become completely one. There was absolutely no duality throughout the weekend and even since then. 

  • It dawned on me what sex was all about. Sex is the ability to bring opposing forces together and make them one again to create and manifest a gift for the universe to experience in this realm. Sex unites energy to create more energy and manifest it in tangible form. Sex distinguishes two entities and still brings them together to show how they were always one and the same.

  • Everything began to make sense to me. The pleasure and pain in relationships, in development, and even in childbirth. It all makes sense even while its doesn't make any sense. The only way to understand it is to walk in your natural element and your total healing.

  • Meanwhile, after posting about my new gift to offer people as a massage therapist, I began receiving emails from various people and began having conversations with people. Many people are sexual but have reproductive issues that would blow your mind. Some cannot menstrate, but bleeds after sex. Some have experienced multiple miscarriages. Some have had painful periods and endometriosis. Some have painful sex. Some have premature ejaculation. Some have shame from a traumatic past. Some feel inadequate to be a good lover. Both men and women started sharing their stories and asking if I can help them.

  • I understand my calling now. Sure erotic shit is always fun, but there has to be purpose behind what I do. No matter what, sex is supposed to also heal and reveal their wholeness. Disease, hurt, trauma, and unfortunate life events create a pattern of sexual dysfunction, disorder, shame, and embarrassment instead of the bliss and blessing that sex is supposed to bring.

  • This is not a time to just talk about voyeurism, sex toys, exhibitionism, pornography, sex clubs, eroticism, hedonism, erotic stories, etc. In fact, if this is all we have to talk about when it comes to sex, then we continue to pervert what sex is really all about. There has to be balance. People need healing, not just a nut. Because after the nut comes life and the reality in it that people deal with everyday. After your partner leaves, you still have to deal with the pain that many continue to suffer silently. No disrespect to all my erotic folks out there, but we need to reprioritize why we do what we do. Just because you are comfortable in your sexuality doesn't mean your healed and it doesn't mean your whole. Talking about sex comfortably doesn't do anything but show you can talk about it publicly without blushing. Are you making a difference in someone's life? Your vanity and desire to be the next whoever may make people horny, but its not making people wake up to their sexual selves.

  • (Sighing) Now that I have all that out of my system let me talk further about the things I have coming up:
  1. Fertility Massage- I am officially certified now. This treatment is for men and women regardless of background and sexual orientation. It is not just for those having fertility issues. It is for those who need overall healing in their life. It is perfect for those suffering from any reproductive issue known and unknown. Its great for couples and singles with a great sex life who want to add some more spice into.
  2. Teen SECS (Sex Education Community Solutions)- a dialogue for teens old enough to talk about sex and have questions, comments, and concerns. There is a unique curriculum that allows teens to be able to question and comment freely with nothing censored as if they are talking to their friends. It will give teens a chance to understand sex for what it is supposed to be. It is open to any teen regardless of background.
  3. Pregnancy Massage & Doula Services- This is for anyone who is pregnant and need extra support. Perfect to have throughout pregnancy into the postpartum period. I will massage and guide you throughout your pregnancy, labor, and when you bring your bundle of joy home. 
  • So this is my contribution to the universe and all the people that is part of it. Midwifery will be next followed by Sex Therapy. I am so excited to assist people with their healing overall. Join me.

  • Thanks for reading as always! See you next month :)