Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Monogamy- the other white meat
Having sex is not bad. Having sex with a lot of people is not bad- if you protect yourself every time. Having sex and not giving a fuck raises concern for me. There was a time in my life I wanted to experience different things with different people- sexually. I had a ball- most of the time. There were times where it was an unfortunate experience. However, I took control of my sex life and lived it the way I intended and desired. Many "experts" would say that promiscuity is associated with low self-esteem and other mental issues. Some would say that promiscuity is a mental illness. I don't know. I thought back to those days where I really didn't give a fuck and was confident in how I felt. It wasn't because I had low self-esteem or had a bad childhood- I wasn't the type to give anything or anyone that type of power. I wasn't looking for a relationship, even though there were a few who I thought was worth becoming monogamous for. I was off the chain! Some guys that I had encounters with told me they felt like a piece of meat or that they were being treated like my bitch. Hehehe
. I fucked when I felt like it. I was single so I had no one to answer to. I had a ball! The seduction... the flirting... the eye contact... the shit talking... Hell yeah...
Sometimes I was the dominant one... Okay, most of the time. At one point I was in a mindset where "I would fuck you before you fuck me." In other words, I was going to turn you out and not allow myself to become dick-mitized. I had become dick-mitized at one point and that dick hurt me- even cheated on me (bastard). After that, I just said "fuck it." Boy, did I fuck it.
I was going to be top dog- not top bitch- TOP DOG. I was never called a bitch, but I was constantly reminded how much of an asshole I was. As long as it was understood that I was an asshole, you're "situation" with me will be just fine.
I couldn't say I was promiscuous because I was really picky with who I fucked with. I have been pissy drunk still telling guys who were trying to get at me to go kill themselves. I wasn't loose, I just got it when I wanted it. There are guys right now that still remember what I did to them . I wasn't a maneater, just a woman who "thought like a man" I guess, or so I was told.
When I decided I wanted to have a meaningful relationship, it was because I was tired of using guys as a cheap sex toy that I didn't feel like buying. Also, I was tired of being just a piece of ass. I missed being in love with someone and being a feminine compliment in their world.
Some people were asking me why would I want a relationship with all the bullshit that comes with it. Bullshit in a relationship is not a relationship in my world.
Some people continuously knock monogamy because they believe that it is not natural. Of course, if you don't believe that monogamy is natural it's because you are naturally a polygamist, so I would assume.
I am naturally me. Being who I am I like being with one person. I enjoy having sex with the one person I am with. It's not because I want to be a good girl or trying to be his wife. It's not because I have a problem with having multiple partners. I enjoy having one on one attention with one person. I enjoy spending most of my time with one man. I enjoy the intimacy I have with one man.
I have nothing against promiscuity done responsibly. I have nothing against polyamory. I have something against people that want to be against what I am simply because it is not their truth. I have a problem with people that want to challenge monogamy simply because "it is tradition." If you are comfortable with the way you live, you have no reason to defend it or argue it. If it works it will continue to work.
There are gay couples that I have met that have been together 50 years or more. They were together at a time that being gay was unheard of in the public. They were together during a time when being gay made you a sissy. They never had or chose to fight. They never argued. They kept their peace. They remained in love and maintained a very controversial love affair and monogamous partnership for longer than most straight marriages. They were also monogamous.
Fuck who you fuck. Be who you are. If you are a slut, be proud. If you are monogamous, be monogamous. Don't be monogamous when you know you're a hoe. Don't marry a monogamous person if you are a swinger. Find someone that is compatible with you. Most importantly, be true to yourself. I am being true right now, and it happens to be true to one man.