Monday, October 15, 2012
This initially was not going to be a blog but it became too long on my Facebook lol... I am watching Chrissy and Mr. Jones. After careful observation, they are just showing what practically every relationship experiences. It was like watching me and Mr. Wonderful go at it- even though it is not that bad or serious. Then I had an epiphany. Every woman is a Chrissy. We talk about what he doesn't do write. We always talk about what men don't do right. Jim Jones, like practically most men, are simple and require short sentences and yes/no answers. What it boils down to is this: Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. We communicate differently. Our consciousness is different. Our POV's are different. It's supposed to be different. In some cases, opposite. There is a reason that men are broke from buying rims and video games and women are broke from decorating the house. Yin and Yang are not the same, but what keeps them together is how they share a little of each others traits. Men always fuck up and women will never be completely satisfied. SOooo what do we do? You both click and are inseperable. Simple. Let shit go. We will never be alike. In fact, even if you can't let go of his stupidity and her obnoxiousness, celebrate each other. You never see day have conflict with night. The sun continues to shine even when its not visible to a certain part of the globe... and it doesn't complain about it. Celebrate each others strengths and hold each other up in each other's weaknesses. I try to remember this when there is a disagreement, because in all honesty I am dating a wonderful guy and I want this to work. It has nothing to do with what he does right and what he doesn't do wrong. We have fun together and he is a nice balance I need in my crazy life. He is awesome! Does he get on my nerves? Yes, of course! He's a man lol. Guess what? I get on his nerves. End of the day we are in each others arms appreciating the time we have with each other. Ok... so what does this have to do with sex? We get so focused on the superficial aspects of sex that we can't even feel a person's soul. People get caught up looks, size, technique, experience, etc. in sex and in relationships as a whole. When will we be able to focus on the little things- like how he still opens the door for me or how I remember his favorite color? What about sharing secrets and passions to each other? What about how he kisses you on the forehead or how she rubs your feet while you fall asleep every night? We focus so much on what people do wrong, negativity, and things that are not going to last long as if that is the only way we can get gratification. Gratification comes from within. If you feel good about you from within, all you can really do is feel good when you are with the right people. We get so exhausted from trying to fix a relationship and even your sex life that you call it quits because you simply have no more desire or energy. However, when you are fulfilled from within before you meet that person, you will be satisfied with that person regardless of their imperfections. A kiss on the forehead will be one of the most erotic and orgasmic experiences you have with your partner... and you didn't have to engage in intercourse to have that feeling. Sex is not intercourse. Sex is just a short word for intimacy. Without intimacy, its not sex, its lasciviousness and lust. You and the other person is just a piece of ass and a meal ticket (with the right amount of money). I like intimacy, which is why I like Mr. Wonderful. He has his imperfections as well as I, but even our ashes are turned into beauty when we focus on each other's personal beauty. I hope things work out with Chrissy and Mr. Jones because regardless of how things have been, they have a passion for each other that they will not get from anyone else. That type of togetherness is the foundation of intimacy. But managing a relationship will require reasoning and understanding. Sometimes it means you will have to let it go, no matter what, if you genuinely connected. Ok... time to get back to some other business... this is just a thought :)
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
It's getting cold outside- really cold. All I keep thinking about doing is one thing- fuckin. In fact, all I keep thinking about is fuckin my guy. That's right people. Lately, I have been one horny bitch (of course for those of you that know me personally you are probably thinking how this is nothing new). I have been more hornier than ever! OMG! My vagina has turned into a bottomless pit- enter at your own risk mutha fucka... you may not come back the same person. Some would say it's because I'm a woman in my 30s. Some would say it's my zodiac (Aries). Some would say I just need to grow up and stop acting like a nasty bitch. I don't know. All I know is that my guy has been looking at me like I've lost my mind at times, especially when I grab his dick at the most "inappropriate" times (ie. while driving, at the grocery store, at the bar, etc). I think I've sucked his dick into a mental breakdown. I look at it and its happy to see me, but it's begging for paid time off. When I look at him, he's blushing and giving me that sexy look from one eye that he gives when he's horny, but the other eye has that "damn, bitch, do you sleep?" look. I was starting to wonder if I was becoming addicted to sex. I'm not. If I was, I'd be fucking him, them, her, and you right now and not writing this blog. Let's face it- sex is my life... well... from an intellectual sense. I chose a career to study, write, and talk about sex. I'm supposed to have an "extravagant sex life," right? That's what everyone tells me. I should be fucking everyday and engaging in many different sex acts and activities to understand it more. Well, actually... no. My manfriend told me he doesn't know what to do with me (boy have I heard that before). Now, don't take that as him saying that he doesn't know what to do with the pussy. Trust me, he know what he's doing with the pussy. I'm still hoarse from Sunday after church. I was shouting alright. I was thinking to myself about this and about how many men have been intimidated or simply not used to a woman not having a sex drive like mine, let alone a sex drive at all. He thinks I'm crazy because when he gets out the shower, I'm sitting right in the bathroom watching him dry his naked body off and how erect his dick is from the temperature. I'm staring at him in heat and he feels like a piece of meat because he can only imagine the nasty thoughts I have formulated in my mind about him. It is interesting how my homegirls have the same situation with their men. I have one homegirl (true story) who gave head to her man... WHILE SHE WAS DRIVING THE CAR AND HE WAS IN THE PASSENGER SEAT! I have another homegirl that can break dick down as if she was a connesseur. Tina Atl, who's middle name should be the Dickologist, at times make me wish I had a dick the way she writes about it in her poetry. I'm saying all this to say this: WOMEN ARE HORNY TOO! We are not trying to be like men. We don't have to be like a man. A woman's sexuality is not like a man. A man's sexuality is usually localized to his dick, although some men can have sensations in their nipples and ass (even though most of you will not go there lol). A woman's sexuality is deeper than that. There is a world within us that is beyond the pussy. If you think that the pussy is the final destination, you're not fucking us right. Let me explain. Pussy is the gateway of potential. She can be the baddest bitch, but if you don't allow a woman's full potential to be expressed sexually, she's just another bad bitch giving you a piece of ass. Many guys I have had conversations with have all express how much they are tired of just having a piece of ass and want to be intimate with a woman mentally and spiritually too. Then he met me... Wait a minute! You thought it was just going to be intellectual talks about books, Osho, and the plight of our people while listening to "Redemption Song" in the background. You thought we would burn incense while meditating or practicing yoga. You thought it would just be a walk in park, a hike up the mountain trail, or a drive around the city while you laugh about childhood and popsicles and shit. You thought you got a good girl, didn't you? Tell the truth. What you got is a woman who knows how to live life, enjoys life, and wants you... in the worst way. The secret to bringing the freak out of a woman is not how you eat her pussy or dick her down- we have toys for all that shit. The secret to bringing the freak out of a woman is not just to talk dirty to her and to try to out freak her- everybody does that shit. Side note: if you have a woman and not doing this shit then your good woman is probably fucking someone else. End side note. The secret to bringing the freak out of any woman is to enjoy life with her, have fun, loosen up. The secret to bringing the freak out of any woman is to engage into her intellectual side. The secret to bringing the freak out of any woman is not through the pussy- like I said, the pussy is the gateway to potential, but it doesn't mean you've arrived. The secret to experiencing what you call her freaky side which is really her mysterious, sexy, alluring side, is through her mind. My guy asked me once, "Why are you so freaky, Lekeisha?" My answer, "it is because you know how to stimulate my mind." He was puzzled and even confused because every other woman he's ever dated has never been this open. "It's either because you didn't tap into this side of her, or she remained closed up because she chose to remain in her dark world out of fear," I said. Every rose needs sunshine to blossom, and that's all that's happening with us. Once each pedal is completely opened she's already releasing herself to you, even when you are not in her. That's why a woman can orgasm even without stimulation. That's why women think that they have to wear panty liners when they are with you. That's why she had to wash her panties at your house the other night. I'm going to be frank- this independent woman bullshit gets mentally draining. Its mentally draining because its a mutha fuckin front. Why? Because now days women have to survive on their own without a man. This is not like the old days when we find a husband and he becomes the breadwinner and we stay at home and take care of the house. Because of some feministic bullshit, finding that type of man almost doesn't exist because now it is expected we find a job and pay our own damn bills (fuck the feminist movement). So, being an independent woman is a front because we need to stay strong and be something that really we can't be on our own. So what do you think happens when a man comes along, treats us like a lady, has mentally stimulating conversation, shows respect, takes us out, acts romantic, and does everything he can to show he respect her? A woman opens up like that rose ready to bloom. This is why women with these bitch ass pieces of shit can't stay in the situation that long simply because a rose is still a rose.You can keep cutting it down, but it will eventually rebloom again when she finally understands her worth. When you at least try to get an understanding of a woman's worth, you are going to get all the pussy you thought you missed out on when you were by yourself. This is why men who fuck around a lot gets bored with it; it's because its all pussy with no substance or at least pussy that he will not try to dig the substance out of. As you get to know a woman, be sensitive to her needs and desires, and even put your foot down during intolerable moments (ie. she cusses you out for nothing, threatens to fuck you up, stirs up drama, etc) you will notice how she will not only open up to you, the fig leaves will fall off one by one, she will be naked with you and unashamed, and you will have a woman that will multiply and give back the love you give her. If you don't believe me, most of 2011 and 2010 was dry as hell for me because all everyone had to give was dick. Bitch, I used to sell sex toys. If it was that serious, I had samples. You couldn't tell me nothin'. When I met Mr. Wonderful this year, my vagina has been stimulated even without physical touch. The pussy stays wet because my mind stays interested and intrigued by a very intelligent man with a good heart and honest intentions. So, the next time a woman wants to throw herself at you, even if you met the first night and/or you feel like you don't deserve it and/or you feel like a lady should and/or would make you wait, do yourself a favor and stop thinking and let her do her thing with you. She doesn't have low self-esteem and she is not doing it to try to trap you or get your attention. You stimulated her correctly and her carpels finally want to open up. You can call her or me a hoe if you want to. Its only because of the intellect you lack and are unable to share with her. Thank you and good night. It's time to go lay next to Mr. Wonderful.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Having sex is not bad. Having sex with a lot of people is not bad- if you protect yourself every time. Having sex and not giving a fuck raises concern for me. There was a time in my life I wanted to experience different things with different people- sexually. I had a ball- most of the time. There were times where it was an unfortunate experience. However, I took control of my sex life and lived it the way I intended and desired. Many "experts" would say that promiscuity is associated with low self-esteem and other mental issues. Some would say that promiscuity is a mental illness. I don't know. I thought back to those days where I really didn't give a fuck and was confident in how I felt. It wasn't because I had low self-esteem or had a bad childhood- I wasn't the type to give anything or anyone that type of power. I wasn't looking for a relationship, even though there were a few who I thought was worth becoming monogamous for. I was off the chain! Some guys that I had encounters with told me they felt like a piece of meat or that they were being treated like my bitch. Hehehe
. I fucked when I felt like it. I was single so I had no one to answer to. I had a ball! The seduction... the flirting... the eye contact... the shit talking... Hell yeah...
Sometimes I was the dominant one... Okay, most of the time. At one point I was in a mindset where "I would fuck you before you fuck me." In other words, I was going to turn you out and not allow myself to become dick-mitized. I had become dick-mitized at one point and that dick hurt me- even cheated on me (bastard). After that, I just said "fuck it." Boy, did I fuck it.
I was going to be top dog- not top bitch- TOP DOG. I was never called a bitch, but I was constantly reminded how much of an asshole I was. As long as it was understood that I was an asshole, you're "situation" with me will be just fine.
I couldn't say I was promiscuous because I was really picky with who I fucked with. I have been pissy drunk still telling guys who were trying to get at me to go kill themselves. I wasn't loose, I just got it when I wanted it. There are guys right now that still remember what I did to them . I wasn't a maneater, just a woman who "thought like a man" I guess, or so I was told.
When I decided I wanted to have a meaningful relationship, it was because I was tired of using guys as a cheap sex toy that I didn't feel like buying. Also, I was tired of being just a piece of ass. I missed being in love with someone and being a feminine compliment in their world.
Some people were asking me why would I want a relationship with all the bullshit that comes with it. Bullshit in a relationship is not a relationship in my world.
Some people continuously knock monogamy because they believe that it is not natural. Of course, if you don't believe that monogamy is natural it's because you are naturally a polygamist, so I would assume.
I am naturally me. Being who I am I like being with one person. I enjoy having sex with the one person I am with. It's not because I want to be a good girl or trying to be his wife. It's not because I have a problem with having multiple partners. I enjoy having one on one attention with one person. I enjoy spending most of my time with one man. I enjoy the intimacy I have with one man.
I have nothing against promiscuity done responsibly. I have nothing against polyamory. I have something against people that want to be against what I am simply because it is not their truth. I have a problem with people that want to challenge monogamy simply because "it is tradition." If you are comfortable with the way you live, you have no reason to defend it or argue it. If it works it will continue to work.
There are gay couples that I have met that have been together 50 years or more. They were together at a time that being gay was unheard of in the public. They were together during a time when being gay made you a sissy. They never had or chose to fight. They never argued. They kept their peace. They remained in love and maintained a very controversial love affair and monogamous partnership for longer than most straight marriages. They were also monogamous.
Fuck who you fuck. Be who you are. If you are a slut, be proud. If you are monogamous, be monogamous. Don't be monogamous when you know you're a hoe. Don't marry a monogamous person if you are a swinger. Find someone that is compatible with you. Most importantly, be true to yourself. I am being true right now, and it happens to be true to one man.